Tifamisu
by monochromed
Summary: Sir, I don't think that buying Miss Lockhart's bar and turning it into a café is the best way to woo her.


**Disclaimer: **FFVII belongs to Square Enix. 'Tis all.

**Tifamisu**

**Chapter 1**

Anger, irritation, bemusement and disbelief swirled in those fiery red orbs as Tifa Lockhart glared at the arrogant jerk seated primly in front of her like a king. His long legs crossed at the ankles, his arms across his chest, his head tilted to one side as if observing her with his sharp blue eyes, an impeccably smug smirk on his lips: Indeed, Rufus Shinra was the perfect picture of an arrogant jerk in king's clothing. As to how he could look so relaxed, so at ease inside a room where tension was waist-deep escaped her logic. The man seriously had issues he needed to deal with.

She rubbed her forehead in exasperation, a soft growl escaping her lips, and then slammed a hand on the table. Anyone in the room would've heard the nails rattling in their place. Never, in several years, had she felt such annoyance coursing through her system like poison. It almost even matched that of her anger towards Sephiroth. Such a historical event. And almost immediately after the slamming of said hand, the dark-haired young man standing beside Shinra stiffened and she shot him a pointed glare, a glare usually reserved for people who caused trouble inside her bar. No one, and she meant _no one_, was allowed to interfere in this little conversation. And to think that civility should not be existing between the two of them.

"So let me get this straight." Her voice was as sharp as the Masamune and her tone as poisonous as tainted Lifestream. "You want to buy my bar just so you could convert it into a café? Are you _mad_?"

Mad wouldn't even be the start of her adjectives set out for him. There's also foolish and stupid and inane and bastardly and degenerate. Although degenerate wasn't exactly an adjective and bastardly was an adverb. But really now, for the love of all things Holy, adjectives and adverbs aside, she'd never heard of such a ridiculous notion. Where the hell did this said ridiculous notion anyway? And why _her_? It's not like she was the only one in the vicinity who had a bar. Why not some other bar? There's Johnny, for crying out loud! Or maybe, why not buy an empty establishment and _then _turn it into a café? That would've been the most obvious thing to do. And there were a heck lot of things why not her. But still, he decided he'd go with _her_. Was he simply trying to piss her off?

"Actually, I'm quite sane as you can see. But, yes, that would be correct."

How dare he. How. Dare. He. How dare that idiotic, boyband-looking, suit-wearing, donut-bringing, cool car-driving asshole, as her mind screamingly put, just stalked inside her bar, with just one Turk beside him, handed her a box of pastries and asked her to sell her Seventh Heaven without even batting a pale eyelash! And he was acting like the events two years ago didn't happen. At all. It took all of Tifa's patience and energy combined to stop her hands from clenching into hard fists and deliver a deadly blow to the smirking man in front of her. She could feel all of her emotions, from happiness to extreme angst transforming into one swirling mass of destructive energy called rage.

And he was taking this quite lightly. Very, very lightly.

"Rufus Shinra." She spoke the name as if the word didn't quite taste right in her mouth that she had to spit it out rather furiously. "You should realize that you are in my territory as of the moment and I can do whatever I want to you."

Again, like earlier, Tseng had stiffened at the venomous death threat sent by the fighter. Which he hoped as an empty threat, merely to scare the hell out of, well, anyone. But if it wasn't, heaven forbid, Tifa Lockhart was capable of anything, including rearranging his boss's face, limbs and other appendages. From that distance, she would've done an especially good job of giving him a total make-over. And he didn't think that he could do anything to stop the woman. To his exasperation though, his boss knew no fear. Actually, the man doubted if his boss had heard about the saying, "Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned."

"Miss Lockhart—"

"No, Tseng, I do not want to hurt you." She obviously had more concern towards the Turk than the President of the ShinRa Electric Company. If this little conversation was going to continue, then she might as well not involve innocent civilians. Unless Tseng wasn't so innocent as he seemed.

The dark eyes of the Turk moved to the President before he nodded slightly in response to the woman's remark. They might as well do what she had instructed than face the consequences later on. "Yes."

Tifa pinched the bridge of her nose with two slender fingers, her eyes shut tightly. She could feel pain building inside her head, pain that only arrived several minutes ago upon the coincidental arrival of arrogance-personified Rufus Shinra, and the mere presence of said human being was not helping her at all. "So enlighten me as to why you would want to transform my bar into a... café."

Somehow, she couldn't see her bar transforming into a café if ever she actually handed its ownership to the asshole in front of her. Which would probably happen in a million years. God help her if she heard something strange, weird, insane or simply cheesy like that coming out of her mouth.

"Elena said it would be a great idea."

"Elena?" she repeated the name as her eyes opened. Elena. The blonde female Turk, right? The one who had blamed them before. "Elena suggested it?"

"Yes."

It sounded so simple, coming from him, and yet she found loopholes here and there. Tifa stood up this time and slammed a hand once more on the table, her face inches away from Rufus's smirking one. "Then how the hell did my bar get involved in this then? I'm sure that Elena would not have blatantly suggested to buy my bar!"

"Ah. Finally, the correct question."

Tifa stared at him like he had gone mad. The correct question? What, was she asking the wrong ones for the last hour they'd been demanding this and that? "Go on then. Continue."

"You'll have to blame Reno for that."

What? _What?_ The man, for everything he had which included a corporation, a mansion, a heck lot of cash and brains to boot, he sure made no sense. "Can we please stop this game of 20 Questions?" she hissed, her eyes narrowing impatiently. "I would rather if one of you explained to me the situation as a whole already. Just so you know, you are wasting my time here."

Tseng cleared his throat and two pairs of eyes flickered at his direction: one of them the picture of the calm ocean and the other, a raging inferno. Rufus said nothing, merely leaned back in his seat, his head tilting to one side in a nonchalant gesture. Tifa glared at the blond before she gave her attention to the Turk.

"Reno had said that your bar needed renovation. Of course, his logic clearly escaped mine and the President's but he insisted that you do not seem to like it anymore and that renovating it into a café, as Elena had suggested, would be a great idea. And that was not mentioning the fact that you would look quite 'hot' in a waitress's outfit as he had eloquently put."

The young woman's jaw slowly dropped with each word spoken by the stoic Turk and it took her a full minute and a half to digest it all. Needed renovation? Didn't like it? Great idea? And what was that about in a waitress's outfit again? She was still standing, the rational side of her brain pointed out, and still staring, or more like ogling, at Tseng in disbelief. Rufus wore a mild expression on his face as if he had no idea if he was going to be amused at her face or what, which in turn earned him a sharp glare.

"That... That bastard!" Reno, along with Rude, was her regular. Usually the ones who could stay until the wee hours of the morning, just before closing time. Last time, Reno had told her that closing Seventh Heaven would mean that death of a part of his life. So then why the hell was the guy suggesting that her bar needed a renovation?

Her exclamation though sent Denzel running downstairs and the three occupants of the bar turned to the young boy who looked at the sole female worriedly then glared at her two uninvited guests. Tifa quickly walked over to him, kissing his forehead lightly, then ushered him back upstairs, a tone of reassurance in her quiet, calm-for-now voice. She then walked back to the two men with a sigh, her glare softening for a split second. Still, even if it was just for a split second, Rufus caught it and his smirk widened ever so slightly.

"See?" she spat out, her tone still as acidic as ever. "Now that's the reason why I can't sell this one. Because I live up there. With two kids. With Cloud occasionally."

Rufus dragged out a sigh and it took all of her energy to stop herself from launching herself on him. What the heck? Was he exasperated _at_ her? Like she was the one who was being irrational all this time? Well, may the gods damned him!

"And this is the reason why you should be shutting up and listening to me. I have not given you the details of this deal, have I? Now sit down."

She swallowed an irritated scream, not wanting to force Denzel to come running back into the bar, asking her worriedly if Rufus was doing something mean to her. She reluctantly sat back down, mentally marking this day, this faithful day, on her calendar: the day Rufus Shinra just ordered her to sit down and she obliged. In her own bar.

"I only need the bar. I don't need the entire complex, including your residence upstairs."

"But obviously, if you're going to buy my bar—"

"I said, I _only_ need the bar. I don't need the entire complex, including your residence upstairs."

"You should realize that the bar isn't exactly detachable from—"

"You're not letting me finish."

Tifa shut her mouth, sighing loudly. Well, duh. He didn't really tell her that he wasn't through speaking yet.

"I did seem to consider that you and your family are living upstairs so I was thinking of letting you stay up—"

"Wow, thanks, Shinra. But seriously, I don't—"

He held up a hand and she obligingly shut up yet again. "I was thinking of letting you stay upstairs, even paying for your bills and all—"

Hold on! Did he say pay for the bills? "Wait, wait, wait! Wait just a moment, Rufus Shinra!" she interrupted him for the fourth time that quarter of an hour and it was quite apparent on his expression that he was getting quite annoyed by that. Then again, he didn't have any right to complain as he was the first who interrupted her life by stalking inside her bar purposedly. "Pay my bills? What are you, my husband?"

Rufus looked mildly surprised at that comment and even Tseng coughed once. "Cloud Strife would certainly not mind that, would he?"

Tifa stared at him again, her mouth open and her eyes void of any emotion. Never mind the Cloud Strife remark. "Are you serious?"

"If I had the time to joke, then I would rather use that time to finish this business so as to return back to the corporation in time for my afternoon meeting."

The young woman rolled her eyes, settling her chin in her palm. Talk about a cheap workaholic with no sense of anything. "I'm so flattered that you're taking time just to drop by here and ask me if I could sell this bar to you. I must have been out of my mind for wasting _your _time."

Rufus cleared his throat, composing himself and dismissing the fact that she was being sarcastic again. Tifa said nothing, her eyes settling anywhere but him. "So, before I was rudely interrupted—" She made a small noise of dissent and he silenced her with another glare. "—I would be willing to pay for your bills, seeing that we would be taking away your only source of income, even share the profit of the café with you fifty-fifty. Does that settle it now?"

Tifa eyed him warily, her deep red eyes filled with hesitation and inquiry. Letting them stay, paying for the bills, sharing the profit... It was too good to be true. And this was Rufus Shinra she was talking to. "Is there a catch to this?" Deals this good usually weren't free.

The scowl that appeared on his face made her wary even more. "And why do you think that there would be such?"

Because it was too good to be true? Because he was Rufus Shinra? Because she was Tifa Lockhart? Because they shouldn't even be on good, civil speaking terms? "Because it's weird."

"Indeed it is. How articulately put." He nodded slightly at her, a chuckle escaping his lips, as he rose to his feet. Tseng quickly placed the white coat around his shoulders without any signal or sign whatsoever. "Does this mean we have a deal now?"

"I'm still—"

"Consider it _now_. I shall wait for your response in three days."

Tifa jumped up to her feet, two hands flat on the table. "_Three_ days?" she echoed loudly as Rufus walked past her towards the door. "That's too soon! And I'm sure even you think that that's too soon!"

He glanced at her over his shoulder. "The sooner, the better. I shall send over the people in charge of the renovations after the third day."

Duh. Obviously, it just meant one thing. "Don't _I_ have a say in this? After all, it's _my_ bar!"

"The first half of the payment shall be sent on the fourth day as well. I'll have Rude deliver it." Rufus ignored her remark and continued to the door held open by Tseng. Tifa stayed rooted in her spot, her clenched fists shaking in unmistakable disbelief and anger. "During the renovations, you and your family are welcomed to stay at my mansion in Junon." He paused for a moment, looking quite thoughtful as if trying to find the next words to say, then glanced over his shoulder to her. "Of course, Cloud Strife is not welcome."

"There's one more!"

The young man halted in mid-step at the almost desperate call and rounded on Tifa Lockhart. She stood there, a determined expression on her face. Obviously, she did not want Rufus Shinra to have the last word on everything. And if there was something she had to say, it had to be the last loophole she found in his argument. She now anticipated what the reply would be. It had to be something logical or she'd completely go ballistics. If Shinra messed this one up... If he gave her the wrong answer...

A pale eyebrow rose. "Last one."

Tifa took a deep breath then shot him an impassive look. "Where does the café fit in? Why did Elena suggest a café? For what reason?"

She could sense that the tension was back, judging the frozen expression on Tseng's face. Her sanguine eyes narrowed into slits, suspicious. There was something going on. She was quite sure of it.

A sigh left Shinra's lips and he glanced, seemingly exasperated, at the Turk beside him. "I remember myself telling her 'last one'," he told him in almost patronizing tone before he turned back to Tifa, whose eyes still resembled daggers. He opened his mouth, a thoughtful glint in his blue eyes, and Tifa almost expected a reasonable explanation to everything. Almost. "You will have to blame Tseng."

"What?" Tseng mirrored Tifa's surprised reaction. He was obviously expecting something else too.

"Tseng likes coffee and Elena likes Tseng. Quite elementary really." Shinra was ignoring the fact that the other two people in the room were staring at him, words lost in their throats.

And with that, he stepped out into busy Edge, followed by a still-confused Tseng, the door swinging close behind them. Tifa gaped at them blankly, caught off guard by those last few statements and by the fact that he had the last word. Yet again. She sat back down in her seat after hearing the sound of a car driving away, slapping her forehead loudly in frustration. The man just roped her in, without her consent and without her knowledge. And she had no idea if she would be incensed by that or astounded. Perhaps it was some sort of mishap from the gods who ruled Gaia or they were simply trying to conspire with the entire cosmic universe against her.

Whatever it was. someone up there must really, truly hate her.


End file.
